The Insider Sloane Crosley

We’ve been borderline obsessed with Sloane Crosley since simply hearing the title of her first book, I Was Told There’d Be Cake, so it’s no wonder the writer and all-around funny woman has only continued to woo us with her words and wisdom. Even if you’re a mega fan who’s well-versed in her miniature chicken collaboration, we betchya don’t know what she swears by on freezing cold winter days—or about the fuzzy skeletons she’s hiding in her closet. —carlye wisel

Q: What’s the last great thing you read?
A: I had minor heart palpitations reading Victor Zapana’s New Yorker essay, “Shaken.”

Q: As a writer—Twitter: yay or nay?
A: “Yay” but a kind of sarcastic fading “yaaaaay.”

Q: What three things are really buggin’ you these days?
A: My instinct here is to suggest that you don’t have enough time to listen to the list (am I right or am I right?), but not much comes to mind. I don’t like ombre hair. I don’t like music snobs. I don’t like the elevation of picky food consumption to the level of opera. I don’t like the obsession with things that no longer exist and yet I persist in telling people I “left a message on your answering machine.” I don’t like the weird spare change on my MetroCard or that we kind of skipped Fall this year. But overall? Obama won, family Thanksgiving was enjoyable, the country has a sex scandal to follow, and my power is back on.

Q: How would you describe your style?
A: Like Rainbow Brite and Wednesday Addams got in a fight and Rainbow Brite won.

Q: If you could have access to anyone else’s wardrobe, whose would you choose? Why?
A: I don’t know if I have one person. If someone sticks out at me at a party or on the street, it generally turns out that person is a stylist. Which makes me feel good about my fashion “eye” for half a second before I realize I’m rather hopeless by comparison. In the celebrity ether? Kate Moss. In real time? My friend Charlotte Kidd is always really well dressed.

Q: What’s your go-to, I-have-to-be-somewhere-in-10-minutes-and-look-dope outfit?
A: Black tights, high-waisted shorts, tall boots, and a bright silk shirt.

Q: Is there anything hanging in your closet that you’ve never had the guts to wear?
A: Yes. I didn’t feel like taking a picture so I just plugged in “Philippe Adec green coat” to Google and found this. Looks like someone is selling theirs on eBay so it too can be yours if you want it. I even had mine tailored at one point, and I still can’t wear it without feeling like Oscar the Grouch. And I guess I’d have to wear it with all black and international spy heels? I have no idea.

Q: What warm or cozy items do you rely on to get you through winter?
A: A scarf by A Peace Treaty that’s really a giant, soft blanky masquerading as a scarf.

Q: If you had a uniform, what would it be?
A: Air traffic controller or medical doctor.

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